crying...

It's not depression everbody, lets be excited. it has been depression in the past, but instead this time it has been anxiety of the unknown as well as a huge control issue. My mother is a wonderful woman one many people should meet, she bless the hell right out of you and thats no joke. she is a revolutionary of sorts in her own way. the reall point of this is i got my huge control issue from her. I am tired of it. God is good, i am pretty sure this is what we are working on in my life. today has been a day of immense blessing and growth. i feel like one post will not do, i might have to. Thats my main issue, control. Other than that, the title of the post means this... All of the events in my life in the past few weeks have been rough and these weeks have been a colmination of one pray i prayed one week at camp after my dear friend spoke about her depression. She talked about crying while driving in the car and how important it was to her. I then thought to my self i have'nt really cried in a long time. i wanted to cry. This pray and every other prayer i have been praying for atleast the year have been answered. My tear had gone from utter despair, hurt, confussion, fear of the unknown, to sure joy. This has really been my past few weeks. Today i cried on the phone with my mother for joy in my current circumstance, its a good circumstance where i know that i am wanted more than i have ever felt wanted before ( i struggle with this, maybe one day the root will come to light, for now i will continue on a control issue. Any prayers would be greatly appreciated. This has been a year of answered prayers. They do get answered, even more than you'd ever fathom they would. woah