the air was cool...

All of yesterday. I wake in the morning and i am freezing, its getting into the high fifties during the night. It is nice, its like spring all over again. Recently i have been frustrated with myself. I don't get mad i get frustrated, with me, with my situtation . I have been praying for three years in frustration with myself, my bondage, my sin. I had a nice vaction from my addiction during my camp tour. It was nice. I had people to support me, i had a way out. As soon as i left, i left my support behind, because the people that had been around me everyday who knew were not a part of my everyday life which left me with nobody who knew around me. That was the biggest mistake this addiction manifests itself in secret. This addiction to pornography manifested itself in me unitl yesterday when it finally clicked. I acredit this breakthrough, this discovery to the Holy Spirit, prayer from family members, and a dear friends blog where i read and remebered it as a symptom of a state of mind. This lead me to find great support on the internet at www.templetreasures.org. It was just the encouragement i needed. Thank you my Jesus for the break through. I guess the next step i need to take it figuring out what that original feeling, the original event to start a good recovery. I need a mentor who can support me. i figured before i would find the original somthing i would start isolating events that sway me. So if you read this i would ask and demand that you pray for me. The battle gets harder from here, when you aknowledge a lie you once believed from the enemy the attack is even harder.
That has been my big spiritual discovery, one step closer to being like Jesus.

Other than that my life is changing in a month i am moving back closer to where i once never wanted to go back to. I am moving in with one really good friend and another friend. I can only pray to see where God takes it. they have to choose for God to work just as i do for a community devoted to God.
Love and peace to all who read this